- WORSHIP NOTES:
- July 10: Mary Magdalene will be the focus of the sermon this week.
- Title “Mary Magdalene, Woman of Mystery.”
- Scripture passage: John 20:1-18.
- Now on the first day of the week Mary Magdalene came to the tomb early, while it was still dark, and saw that the stone had been taken away from the tomb. 2 So she ran, and went to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved, and said to them, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid him.” 3 Peter then came out with the other disciple, and they went toward the tomb. 4 They both ran, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first; 5 and stooping to look in, he saw the linen cloths lying there, but he did not go in. 6 Then Simon Peter came, following him, and went into the tomb; he saw the linen cloths lying, 7 and the napkin, which had been on his head, not lying with the linen cloths but rolled up in a place by itself. 8 Then the other disciple, who reached the tomb first, also went in, and he saw and believed; 9 for as yet they did not know the scripture, that he must rise from the dead. 10 Then the disciples went back to their homes.11 But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb, and as she wept she stooped to look into the tomb; 12 and she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had lain, one at the head and one at the feet. 13 They said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “Because they have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.” 14 Saying this, she turned round and saw Jesus standing, but she did not know that it was Jesus. 15 Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom do you seek?” Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.” 16 Jesus said to her, “Mary.” She turned and said to him in Hebrew, “Rab-bo′ni!” (which means Teacher). 17 Jesus said to her, “Do not hold me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father; but go to my brethren and say to them, I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.” 18 Mary Mag′dalene went and said to the disciples, “I have seen the Lord”; and she told them that he had said these things to her.
His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ ~~Matthew 25:23
- Saturday, July 9, 2016 11:00 am-2:00 pm: Doug Garrison , pastor of Jupiter Baptist writes to let us know that they are selling BBQ, hamburgers and hot dogs. Proceeds to benefit the orphanage in Honduras, built and sponsored by The Carpenter’s Heart.
- Sunday, July 17, 8:45 am. Barnardsville Men meet at Antioch Baptist Church.
- Saturday, August 6 Helping Hands will be at the Rummage Sale at Big Ivy Community Center
- Sunday, August 21, 8:45 am Barnardsville Men meet at BUMC.
- Sunday, August 31, Fifth Sunday Celebration at all churches on the charge.
The Love offering last week to help Lewisburg UMC respond to the flooding in their town was $210.00! Thanks to all who were able to give to such a worthy cause!
For those who would like to send in a contribution by mail directly to Lewisburg UMC please send it here:
memo: flood relief
make check out to Lewisburg United Methodist church
Lewisburg United Methodist church
1133 Washington St., East
Lewisburg, WVA 24901
It looks like everyone had fun on the float on the 4th!!
Garrison Keillor on Methodists:
“they’d smile and row that boat ashore and up on the beach! And down the road!”
“We make fun of Methodists for their blandness, their excessive calm, their fear of giving offense, their lack of speed, and also for their secret fondness for macaroni and cheese. But nobody sings like them….If you were to ask an audience in New York City, a relatively Methodistless place, to sing along on the chorus of ‘Michael row your boat ashore’ they would look daggers at you as if you had asked them to strip to their underwear. But if you do this with Methodists, they’d smile and row that boat ashore and up on the beach! And down the road!”
“Many Methodists are bred from childhood to sing in four-part harmony, a talent that comes from sitting on the lap of someone singing alto or tenor or bass and hearing the harmonic intervals by putting your little head against that person’s rib cage. Its natural for Methodists to sing in harmony. We are too modest to be soloists, too worldly to sing in unison. When you are singing in the key of C and you slide into the A7th and D7th chords,all two hundred of you, its an emotionally fulfilling moment. By our joining in harmony, we somehow promise that we will not forsake each other.”
“I do believe this: People, these Methodists, who love to sing in four-part harmony are the sort of people you could call up when you’re in deep distress. If you are dying, they will comfort you. If you are lonely, they will talk to you. And if you are hungry, they will give you tuna salad!”
‘Methodists believe in prayer, but would practically die if asked to pray out loud. “Methodists will usually follow the official liturgy, and will feel it is their way of suffering for their sins. You know you are a Methodist if when you watch Star Wars and they say ‘May the Force be with you,’ you instinctively respond ‘And also with you.’”
“Methodists think that the Bible forbids them from crossing the aisle while passing the peace. “
“Methodists believe in miracles and even expect miracles, especially during their stewardship visitation programs or when passing the plate.”
“Methodists believe their pastors will visit them in the hospital, even if they don’t notify them that they are there!”
“Methodists are willing to pay up to a dollar for a meal at church….They drink coffee as if it were the third Sacrament.”
“You will know you are a Methodist when its 100 degrees outside with 90% humidity and you still serve coffee after the service.”
“Methodists still serve jello in the proper liturgical color of the season and think that peas in a tuna casserole adds too much color.”
“Methodists feel guilty if they don’t stay to clean up after their own wedding reception in the Fellowship Hall.”
“You know you are a Methodist when doughnuts are a line item in the church budget, just like coffee.”
“You know you are a Methodist when it takes at least ten minutes to say goodbye!”
You Might Be A Methodist If..
- You think John Wesley was the 13th Apostle.
- You think God’s presence is strongest on the back three pews.
- You think “Amazing Grace” is the national anthem.
- Your definition of fellowship has something to do with food.
- You honestly believe that the Apostle Paul spoke King James English.
- You think worship music has to be loud.
- You think Jesus actually used Welch’s grape juice and saltine crackers.
- You judge the quality of a service by its length.
- You ever wake up in the middle of the night craving fried chicken and interpret that feeling as a call to preach.
- You believe that you are supposed to take a covered dish to heaven.
- You have never sung the third verse of any hymn.
- You have ever put an IOU in the offering plate.
- You think someone who says “Amen” while the preacher is preaching might be a Charismatic.
- You complain that the pastor only works one day and then he works too long.
- You clapped in church and felt guilty about it all week.
- You are old enough to get a senior discount at the pharmacy, but not old enough to promote to the Senior Adult Sunday School; you think the only promotion after that is the cemetery.
- You are upset that Joshua brought down the wall of Jericho and think that the Board of Trustees should recommend that the church pay for it to prevent a general ruckus.
- You are upset that the last hymn in the new hymnal is numbered “666.
- You sit while singing “Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus”
- You don’t take Rolaids when your heart is strangely warmed
- You know that a circuit rider is not an electrical device
- “The Upper Room” is as essential to your bathroom as the toilet paper
- You’ve ever owned a pair of cross and flame boxer shorts
- You’ve ever sung a gender-inclusive hymn
- Tithing is encouraged but widely ignored
- Half the people sitting in your pew lip-sync the words to the hymns
- The word apportionment sends a chill down your spine
- You realize pluralism isn’t a communicable disease
- Names like Aldersgate, Asbury and Epworth are familiar
- You consider the monthly potluck a sacrament
- The only church camp song you know by heart is “Kum ba yah”
- You’ve ever attended an Annual Conference and actually enjoyed it
- You have an unexplained yearning to visit Wesley’s chapel in London
- Your church is named for a geographical location rather than for a saint
- You’ve never heard a sermon on Hell and don’t feel you’re missing out
- You realize that VBS isn’t a sexually transmitted disease
- Your pastor moves every four or five years and you like it that way
- Your pastor responses to you with, “I hear you saying…”
- There’s at least one person in every church meeting who says, “But we’ve never done it that way before”
- Your congregation’s Christmas pageant include both boy and girl wise men
- You accept the fact that the hymn, “O For a thousand tongues to sing” has almost as many stanzas as tongues
- You know that the Wesleyan Quadrilateral isn’t a trick football play involving four lateral passes
- You realize that the Book of Discipline is not a guide to getting you child to behave
- You understand that an “appointment” has nothing to do with keeping a lunch date
- You know “UMW” stands for United Methodist Women rather than the United Mine Workers
- You know the difference between a “diagonal” minister and a “Diaconal” minister
- “Good morning” has the status of a liturgical greeting in the worship service
- You feel a twinge of guilt when you sing “Onward Christian Soldiers” with gusto
- You say “trespasses” instead of “debts” in the Lord’s Prayer and have no idea why
- Your annual conference spends most of its time debating resolutions that nobody reads
- You’d rather be branded with a hot iron than serve on the Nominating Committee (or PPR, Trustees, Finance, etc)
- You’ve ever sipped Welch’s grape juice out of a plastic shot glass during Communion
- The members of the Friendship class are always fighting among themselves
- You realize that sprinkling, pouring and immersing are not ways of seasoning food
- You’re asked to donate money to a “special offering” every other Sunday
- You pour over the Conference Journal with the same intensity you would read a John Grisham novel
- You have to fight through a cadre of “designated greeters” to get into the sanctuary
- When the worship service lasts for more than one hour the beeping of watch alarms drowns out the final hymn.” ~Jeff Foxworthy